This week hasn't been easy... Test after test, trial after trial. School works, quiz coming and lots of problems been surfacing up. It suck up all my strength, so I'm tired physically and spiritually. Long days at school, so many information is put into me, sometimes i wonder why study at all. Why must I learn all this stuffs, seriously i really wonder why.
I'm tired and feeling distant from God, but i know God is always with me cause he promise never to forsake us nor leave us alone! And thruout the week i start to give thanks for the little things God have been blessing me with. Little little insignificant stuffs like a seat on the bus and my classmates all treat me very nicely. Like even having a meal on the table and my fav bed and pillow and bolster. When i started feeling that I can feel what God have done in my life and not wanting anymore.
Oh I need to talk about today, I woke up at 9 and went out from home at 9.20. I sat a train to bishan then i tot i was late so i went to the taxi stand quickly and Wow there was one empty taxi there like it's just waiting for me. I felt happy of course I tot God had specially prepare that taxi for me little did i know the taxi driver drove me to braddell hill instead of braddell heights. Well, it was the taxi driver 1st day so I dun wanna spoil his mood so early in the morning so i got off the taxi with a smile on my face, but inside i was like Sian... From can make it on time to confirm late already. Then, i begin thinking, no need to go already cause late already then if i go there then scared will tio flame or something like that. Then those tots keep coming then sibei sian... Those tots keep coming and coming but i keep on fighting it and fighting it. Fight until very very tired, then this week i was very tired liao then now those tots keep coming and i keep fighting until i'm totally beat... Like no more energy already, and my will is = to zero. I think my flesh is dying soon hahas, of course now im feeling tired and painful. Who wont after suffering ,in a way it is,for the whole week then after that God put me in a random place then the tots of just returning home and sleep just keep and bombing me. Wa it like, i want to give up, so hard, its so hard man... And wow Ps.Eunice de vision for me sharp sia! I need to be determined and persevered till the end and not quit and give up. I know everything i'm going thru now it's just a test, a test to train my character, a test to see if i'm fit to carry what God have planned for me and i Will persevere! I will place all my hope and God, I will put my faith in him and I know and feel that God loves me and want only the best for me and with that i will carry on , I must carry on for God. Everything is for God, Every part of me will be for him to use.
I will trust in the Lord, I will have faith in the Lord!
I'm feel distant and disappointed but God had told the captives in Babylon,"When you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.
God will make sure we won't be disappointed if we want God more than anything else. He Will make sure of it, what more can you want? I will get serious from now on to find God and will want him more than anything else and God WILL MAKE SURE that I won't be disappointed!
I always feel that i have no talent and gift, and i am still feeling it now... I dunnoe why im feeling that. I'm jealous, very very. I feel that I'm not good enough, i want to be able to sing and stuffs like that but God had said nothing we do can take His love away from us and nothing we do can make Him love us more. So i know, i just need to obey God's word and no need to worry about me not having anything nice to offer up. The only thing that i need to offer up to God is my entire being, which is myself.
For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified -1 Corinthians 2:2
Starting to feel like that, knowing so much thing but not knowing Jesus is like gaining the entire world but losing your soul. Without Jesus, we will lose everything, He is everything to us. His grace is enough, His love is enough. So I just need Him and only Him. I want Him and only Him. The name above all names, the king of kings, the lord of lords, the lover of my soul, The one who love me entirely so so much that He died for my sins to cleanse me. To save me from sin.
The day of today
Well~ Today is Monday, having the blues... During the first lesson my nose was like a running tap and it was dreadful. I try to wipe it off but it keeps coming ahhh... I should have prayed but i didnt. Haiz... Oh when i was waiting for bus to school the 1st few bus was packed and i prayed that the next one will not be full and ta-da! The next bus came and it had plenty of seats!! Praise the Lord!!! And during my break i went with some of my friends to Kfc as it was lunch time the chances of us not getting a seat is high i prayed once again and Ta-da! A table empty like it's just for us!! It's amazing man!!
Spending time with God is so worth it, He's so addictive, so good, so wise, the list could go on forever! Oh talking about wisdom, today i managed to do my assignment 1!! It's like wow i could do all of it, based on my maths background the chances of it being correct is so small but i did it will full confidence that it will be all correct!!
You know sometimes even when you didnt pray, God will still provide. It's like wow, he know what you need and already gave it to you before you asked. I couldnt help but praise and worship him! I gonna change my attitude, everything i do like studying, singing, dancing or even walking to be a worship to God! How can i not do that when i witness so many many awesome things he did for me? Even if i couldnt give much, i will give him that little all i have in me. I cant think of anything now but him, his glory, his power, his strength and most of all his love. I didnt felt this feeling before.. it's like the deeper i feel Him the more im able to resist temptation, to resist what of the world and not of Him. The change that is from God is just so satisfying.
When you love someone so deeply you won't wanna forget about that person, that person is always on your mind, you will plan when to meet, what to dress or maybe what to say even. Love is also about those tiny details, the little thank you given or just that little smile can make you so so happy. Love is also shown thru kissing, hugs, and holding hands, these things are build up from all those tiny things you do for that person. The more in love with that person the more intimate you want to be.
This is also how God loves us, He loves us so deeply that he always fixed his eyes on us! He send his only son to die for us. (i dunno about u guys, i think parents will understand this more) You know how painful it is to see you own son die when you have the power to protect him, when you have the power to create the entire universe. God have so much power but he send his son to die for things he created, which is humans, our sins scarred him beyond imagination. The sin-less died for the sinful in order to cleanse us. If He even send his own son to save us, can you even imagine how much he loved us? Those tiny details like bus that have seats for you, when you worried the place that your going to eat wont have any seats for you, He make it for you. It's like how parents treat you when your just born. No matter how bad you are, they will smile at you gently. That how God see us He knew how bad we are but he still loved us, he smile at us even more gently and even planned to make us good. To make us what we are meant to be, Only he could do that and only he knew cause he created us! God's love is just to big and complex but it's also simple, that's why it's hard to understand. I KNOW that God loves me but I cant FEEL his love, but after FEELING his love, understanding that he loves us is no longer enuff. You just will have the craving to feel his love over and over. And soon, all you want is to feel his love and after that you will want to repay his love for you, thru things that you do everyday. Do everything as a worship to the Lord, cause without Him the things that you are doing wont even be there. Soon after getting deeper and deeper, without hearing him and without feeling him, you will feel lost and confuse cause he is the light upon your feet.
Without him, you will feel like walking in a dark dark room. It's like how when u are adapted to the dark, you eyes start to see things in the dark. But suddenly a Light shine into your eyes, it hurts, Yes, you will close your eyes
or run to somewhere else without that light but somehow us human are drawn to that light but we are scared, we hesitate sometimes we cant take it anymore and run back to the dark place which you are comfortable with. But if you would just, endure thru the pain you feel in your eyes, you can see the wonderful things! The mountain, the ocean, the sky etc etc... If you stay in the dark can you see them? Everything is the same in the darkness. What do you do in the dark? Sleep? Curse? Are you cold in that darkness? Everyone longed for warmth but only that light can provide it! Not only he provide the warmth, the light give you even more! The ability to see all the wonders!
So we must bring light to the world cause we had felt that light and had everything that it provided us, we must save those who are still trap in that dark room, we must save them, cause in the dark they cant see and are lost but we who have the light can help them to see and let them feel that warmth that they never felt before in their entire life.
Love is the greatest! God is the greatest! Nothing can compare with him! His glory shine thru all the worlds! In him we have hope! In him we have everything! Have faith in him and all things will be added unto you! Believe in the unseen cause it is more blessed! Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength! Give thanks to all he have created! Give him all the praises he deserved! Thank Him for the blood! Worship him! His the purpose of my life! God is the lover of my soul! God's love regin forever and ever! God loves everything about us! No one is unworthy to him! All eyes will see, all ears will hear the glory of my Mighty God! Thank God for everything he did in my life! Thank God everything he had prepared! Thank God for every tests he given! Thank God for look at us 24/7! Thank God for worrying for us! Thank God for everything! My God is mighty to save! My God is awesome! My God is cool! My God is interesting! My God is love! My God is my hope! My faith is in my God! My everything is for my God! My blessings comes from God! My talent is from God! My Gifts is from God! Everything is from God! I will sing for my God! I will dance for my God! I will trust in my God! My God is great! My God knows me! My God heals me! My God is my provider! My God is wonderful! My God is awesome! MY God is my desire! MY reward is My God!!
Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you James 4:8(NLT).
Spending time with God is so worth it, He's so addictive, so good, so wise, the list could go on forever! Oh talking about wisdom, today i managed to do my assignment 1!! It's like wow i could do all of it, based on my maths background the chances of it being correct is so small but i did it will full confidence that it will be all correct!!
You know sometimes even when you didnt pray, God will still provide. It's like wow, he know what you need and already gave it to you before you asked. I couldnt help but praise and worship him! I gonna change my attitude, everything i do like studying, singing, dancing or even walking to be a worship to God! How can i not do that when i witness so many many awesome things he did for me? Even if i couldnt give much, i will give him that little all i have in me. I cant think of anything now but him, his glory, his power, his strength and most of all his love. I didnt felt this feeling before.. it's like the deeper i feel Him the more im able to resist temptation, to resist what of the world and not of Him. The change that is from God is just so satisfying.
When you love someone so deeply you won't wanna forget about that person, that person is always on your mind, you will plan when to meet, what to dress or maybe what to say even. Love is also about those tiny details, the little thank you given or just that little smile can make you so so happy. Love is also shown thru kissing, hugs, and holding hands, these things are build up from all those tiny things you do for that person. The more in love with that person the more intimate you want to be.
This is also how God loves us, He loves us so deeply that he always fixed his eyes on us! He send his only son to die for us. (i dunno about u guys, i think parents will understand this more) You know how painful it is to see you own son die when you have the power to protect him, when you have the power to create the entire universe. God have so much power but he send his son to die for things he created, which is humans, our sins scarred him beyond imagination. The sin-less died for the sinful in order to cleanse us. If He even send his own son to save us, can you even imagine how much he loved us? Those tiny details like bus that have seats for you, when you worried the place that your going to eat wont have any seats for you, He make it for you. It's like how parents treat you when your just born. No matter how bad you are, they will smile at you gently. That how God see us He knew how bad we are but he still loved us, he smile at us even more gently and even planned to make us good. To make us what we are meant to be, Only he could do that and only he knew cause he created us! God's love is just to big and complex but it's also simple, that's why it's hard to understand. I KNOW that God loves me but I cant FEEL his love, but after FEELING his love, understanding that he loves us is no longer enuff. You just will have the craving to feel his love over and over. And soon, all you want is to feel his love and after that you will want to repay his love for you, thru things that you do everyday. Do everything as a worship to the Lord, cause without Him the things that you are doing wont even be there. Soon after getting deeper and deeper, without hearing him and without feeling him, you will feel lost and confuse cause he is the light upon your feet.
Without him, you will feel like walking in a dark dark room. It's like how when u are adapted to the dark, you eyes start to see things in the dark. But suddenly a Light shine into your eyes, it hurts, Yes, you will close your eyes
or run to somewhere else without that light but somehow us human are drawn to that light but we are scared, we hesitate sometimes we cant take it anymore and run back to the dark place which you are comfortable with. But if you would just, endure thru the pain you feel in your eyes, you can see the wonderful things! The mountain, the ocean, the sky etc etc... If you stay in the dark can you see them? Everything is the same in the darkness. What do you do in the dark? Sleep? Curse? Are you cold in that darkness? Everyone longed for warmth but only that light can provide it! Not only he provide the warmth, the light give you even more! The ability to see all the wonders!
So we must bring light to the world cause we had felt that light and had everything that it provided us, we must save those who are still trap in that dark room, we must save them, cause in the dark they cant see and are lost but we who have the light can help them to see and let them feel that warmth that they never felt before in their entire life.
Love is the greatest! God is the greatest! Nothing can compare with him! His glory shine thru all the worlds! In him we have hope! In him we have everything! Have faith in him and all things will be added unto you! Believe in the unseen cause it is more blessed! Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength! Give thanks to all he have created! Give him all the praises he deserved! Thank Him for the blood! Worship him! His the purpose of my life! God is the lover of my soul! God's love regin forever and ever! God loves everything about us! No one is unworthy to him! All eyes will see, all ears will hear the glory of my Mighty God! Thank God for everything he did in my life! Thank God everything he had prepared! Thank God for every tests he given! Thank God for look at us 24/7! Thank God for worrying for us! Thank God for everything! My God is mighty to save! My God is awesome! My God is cool! My God is interesting! My God is love! My God is my hope! My faith is in my God! My everything is for my God! My blessings comes from God! My talent is from God! My Gifts is from God! Everything is from God! I will sing for my God! I will dance for my God! I will trust in my God! My God is great! My God knows me! My God heals me! My God is my provider! My God is wonderful! My God is awesome! MY God is my desire! MY reward is My God!!
Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you James 4:8(NLT).
A new blog A new start
Well~ From wednesday till now my days had been like hell. Suffering and tests keep coming non-stop. I wanted to give up but i force myself not too cause My strength is in the Lord! God didnt give up on me so i wont give up on myself! It's like i entered into a long dark tunnel, it's scary but in every tunnel there will be an end, and that end is where God is waiting and the tunnel is the trial or test God put you thru to test how much u can endure for him so that God can promote you to do his works. Life is never easy but with God anything is possible. There are times when i feel i disappointed God so much but he still loves me, not because of what i can become or whether im holy. God loves me for who I really am deep inside so deep that only God knows, he knows stuffs about me that i dun even know. God loves you, that why trial are given. Which parents doesnt want to see their child strong and mighty? To do great things? To be like them and finally surpassing them? If your earthly parents want to see that, What more God who is our Father in heaven not want to see that? God has a plan to make your prosper and not to harm!
So for 2 days, i found out how helpless i am and without God i wont be able to make it. The word of God will comfort you great that i can assure you cause i've been thru it and it comforts me to the extent i'm feeling joyous now. All praises to God who build us up to rule and regin thruout the heaven and the earth! Let all creation sing and worship him forever! Holy is the Lord who was and is and is to come! And thru our sufferings we may understand God glory and plan for us!
Even when darkness overruns and trying to overcome me, it shall fail! For we are the child of God and Co-heir with Christ! God is with us and if God is for us who can be against us? We are filled with the Holy Spirit who grants us all blessings and we have the authority to claim all of it IF WE JUST BELIEVE!!
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